


If everything's under control, I'm not going fast enough

by myrmidryad



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Bullet wound, Friendship, Gen, Team Dynamics, Tommy has thinky thoughts, and also gets shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-05
Updated: 2012-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-20 09:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/583999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrmidryad/pseuds/myrmidryad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We put a bandage over it,” Kate said as he looked down at the square of gauze taped to the middle of his breastbone, “but it wasn’t bleeding much. How does it feel?” </p><p>“Like…there’s a fucking…<i>bullet</i> in my chest,” Tommy snarled as quietly as he could. “I’m…just…<i>peachy</i>.” </p><p> </p><p>This team Tommy's on might be a little on the dense side, but they're still his team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If everything's under control, I'm not going fast enough

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a slightly adapted quote by Mario Andretti. 
> 
> Clearly, I've got a lot of YA feels to exorcise.

For a moment, when Tommy woke up, everything was okay. Then he tried to breathe, and suddenly his chest was a screaming, burning, angry thing of pain that made his eyes fly open with the shock of it. 

 _FuckfuckfuckfuckOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!_  

He saw spots dancing in front of him as he tried to suck in another breath and repeated the experience. Jesus fucking _Christ_ , what the hell was _wrong_ with him? 

“Haahhh…” he gasped, and gripped the edge of the mattress tight. He was in his old room in the lair, he realised as the spots receded for a moment. Lying on his side, no one else there, daylight still trickling through the blinds. What had happened? 

Battle, they’d been fighting – who? Hydra? The Sons of the Serpent? Goons with guns, at any rate. And then what? A dinosaur had stomped on his chest? He couldn’t remember. He needed to get up. “Come on,” he muttered, forcing himself to keep breathing, even though it set his chest on fire every time, “come on, come on, come on…” 

His vision whited out as he pushed himself upright and leaned against the wall behind his pillow, but it was worth it to feel a little less vulnerable. Or at least, that’s what he was going to tell himself. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck…” 

“Tommy?” Kate’s voice. “Are you awake?” 

He couldn’t reply. Focus on breathing, focus on breathing. Blink away the whiteness and hide his shaking hands under the duvet. Act normal. 

Kate came in and sighed with relief. “Teddy! He’s awake! How’re you feeling?” she asked him. 

“Nn,” Tommy swallowed and closed his eyes, willing the agony to recede enough for him to carry out a semi-normal conversation. “What happened?” he didn’t raise his voice above a mutter. He could tell that if he did, his lungs _really_ wouldn’t appreciate it. 

“You got shot,” Kate told him, coming closer. Heavy footsteps beyond the door signalled Teddy’s approach. “We’d just finished securing the area, you did a perimeter run, and someone obviously got lucky. No way they could’ve been aiming at you at that speed.” 

“Ngh,” Tommy tilted his head back against the wall and screwed his eyes shut as another wave of red-hot pain lanced through his chest, sending twinges down to his legs. His lungs felt like they were collapsing and being pierced by every single one of his ribs at the same time. 

“Tommy?” Teddy came in and the footsteps stopped. “You’re sitting up!” 

“Well done,” Tommy kept his eyes closed, concentrating on speaking. He didn’t bother trying to keep the pain from his voice. “You’ve got eyes. Where’s Billy?” 

“Unconscious,” Kate told him. “He tried to heal you, but he wiped himself out.” 

“He couldn’t finish,” Teddy added, “so we had to carry you both back.” 

“Kay,” Tommy swallowed and decided to only take small breaths. “What about…the fight?” 

“Over,” Kate reassured him, “Ms Marvel and Iron Man showed up to take care of it.” 

Great. At least that was taken care of. Jesus fuckity _ow_. Who knew getting shot in the chest hurt so much? Eli got shot at all the time and he never complained. But then, Eli was pretty much bulletproof. Which Tommy definitely was not. He steeled himself, then opened his eyes and pulled the front of his shirt forwards so he could look down at his chest. He couldn’t stop his hand from shaking. 

“We put a bandage over it,” Kate said as he looked down at the square of gauze taped to the middle of his breastbone, “but it wasn’t bleeding much. How does it feel?” 

“Like…there’s a fucking… _bullet_ in my chest,” Tommy snarled as quietly as he could. “I’m…just… _peachy_.” 

“I think Billy must’ve healed the wounds on the outside, but not on the inside,” Teddy said. Thank you, Captain Obvious. 

“Go see if he’s awake yet,” Kate said, coming closer to Tommy’s bed. “Do you want anything?” 

“To…not be in…pain?” Tommy gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as hard as he could. He felt like he was dying, and the only person who could do anything about it was passed out cold. How was this his life? 

“Well we haven’t got anything stronger than aspirin here,” Kate told him, and he spared a moment to be grateful for her no-bullshit, no-pity bedside manner. “You want some water or something?” 

He shook his head rather than speaking and concentrated on breathing. As long as he took really, really tiny breaths, it didn’t hurt so much. The problem was that that way he didn’t get enough oxygen, so he had to take larger breaths sporadically and just brace himself for the pain that followed. Oh, _God_ , he had never been in so much pain in his _life_. 

“Billy’s awake!” Teddy yelled, and Tommy relaxed slightly. If Billy was awake, he could heal him, and that would make the pain go away. Suddenly, things were looking up. 

“I’ll go get them,” Kate grinned, and rushed away. They came back a minute later – Teddy had his arm around Billy’s waist, and Tommy could tell immediately that he was practically holding Billy up. 

“Fix me,” he grunted, not wasting air on greetings. 

“I can’t,” Billy shook his head apologetically. “I’m all wiped out, Tommy. I’ve got nothing left! I probably couldn’t light a candle with magic right now.” 

Fuckfuck _fuck_. Why had he joined this useless team? 

“Great,” he fisted one hand in the duvet and took a moment to get his breath. Be logical, think it through. “How long…till…you’re back up…to strength?” 

Billy shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. Feels like a couple of hours at least.” 

Tommy clamped down on the urge to scream. It wouldn’t be useful, and it would hurt like all hell. But seriously, two hours more of this pain? At least? He was finding it hard to reconcile himself to two more _minutes_. 

“Tommy?” 

“ _Nnn_.” 

“That’s it,” Kate said, “we’re taking you to a hospital.” 

What? “No!” he snapped, regretting it when his chest felt like the word had ripped something open. 

“Are you kidding me?” Kate snapped back. “You look like someone’s twisting a knife in your guts every five seconds! You need painkillers, and possibly surgery.” 

“I can handle it,” he gritted. 

“Tommy, you could have internal bleeding,” Teddy said. 

“No hospitals,” Tommy growled. 

“Why not?” Kate threw her hands up and glared at him. “Give me one good reason why not, Tommy Shepherd!” 

Oh, she wanted reasons? He could give her reasons. Deep breath, push past the pain, start reasoning. “Can’t call them here,” he fixed his eyes on hers, “the lair’s secret. Can’t move me – it’ll hurt. Could…injure me more.” 

“Teddy carried you in.” Kate’s eyes flashed dangerously. “He can carry you out.” 

Oh, _fuck you_ , Bishop. “Then…what?” he asked, curling his lips back from his teeth. “When…I’m there? Tell them what? Got shot, but…no outside wounds? Wouldn’t believe us. Can’t tell them…who we are. Also, I’ve got…no insurance.” And, he wanted to add, hospitals were not something he did. Ever. 

“He’s got a point,” Billy said quietly. “By the time anyone got round to helping him, I’d probably be well enough to do it myself.”

Kate bared her teeth at Tommy, then turned on his brother. “He’s in _pain_. We’re meant to just sit here?” 

“Yes,” Tommy hissed. He could do this. He could wait for however long it took for Billy to build up enough strength to heal him properly. He could swallow his screams and concentrate on getting through it minute by minute. He could endure. What he could _not_ do was go into a hospital in his current state. 

“Tommy?” Teddy said hesitantly. 

Tommy looked at him and bit his tongue as something spiked in his chest. “Mm?” 

“Are you scared of hospitals?” 

They all stared at him, Kate’s anger replaced with surprise, and Tommy had never wanted to punch Teddy’s stupid blonde face in as much as he did right now. Fucking _Altman_. Fucking Teddy with his quiet observations. God _dammit_. 

“No,” he told them, and it wasn’t a lie exactly. It just wasn’t the whole truth either. “But…no hospitals…like this.” 

“Like what?” Billy asked. 

Was he the only person with brains on this team? For a moment, he missed Jonas. Jonas would’ve got what he was talking about. “I can’t _move_ ,” he told them, his breath shuddering as his lungs protested. “Can’t…run, if I need to.” 

 _Now_ they got it. He could see the comprehension in their faces and rolled his eyes. Needed everything spelled out for them. Tommy was a speedster, the consummate runner, but none of that mattered if he was rendered immobile like this, and without his powers, he was essentially helpless. Just another human with weird hair and a lean build. He didn’t go into places like hospitals without being a hundred percent sure of an out if he needed one. 

Idiots. He was on a team with idiots. 

 

While they waited for Billy to regain his powers (apparently meditating helped, which was just cute), Teddy moved Tommy to the couch so he could at least measure time’s passing by watching the TV. If nothing else, it reinforced the fact that they wouldn’t be able to move him to the hospital. The jarring movement had been so agonising that he had actually passed out for a few minutes, and when he woke up it took a few minutes more for him to be able to see and hear clearly. Pain that strong could apparently have an effect on his hearing – who knew? 

When Billy _finally_ came over and knelt next to the couch, Tommy took a ragged breath that hurt all the way up to his shoulders, and asked, “Fixing time?” 

To his credit, Billy didn’t waste time with apologies or bullshit like that. Just held his hands over Tommy’s chest and frowned, muttering under his breath. “ _IwanthimtohealIwanthimtohealIwanthimtohealIwanthimtohealIwanthimtoheal_ …” 

Tommy closed his eyes and bit his tongue to stop himself doing something stupid and embarrassing like crying in front of everyone as the pain began to recede. He’d actually forgotten what being comfortable felt like. The stinging fire retreated from his shoulders and waist to his ribcage, then to his sternum, and finally to the place between his lungs where the pain had spread from originally. Then it disappeared entirely. 

Billy fell back, exhausted, and Tommy sucked in a full lungful of air and expanded his chest as much as he could. It didn’t _hurt_ , he felt like yelling. He was okay now. Teddy and Kate had been hovering anxiously, and now they came forward with concerned expressions. 

“Billy?” Teddy crouched over his boyfriend. 

“You’re okay?” Kate asked Tommy. 

He grinned and sat up properly, stretching his arms above his head in a movement that would have been unthinkable just a minute ago. “Okay? I’m _fantastic_. You have _no_ idea how much better this feels.” 

“Sorry it took so long,” Billy mumbled as Teddy helped him to his feet. He was pale and drawn, and Tommy felt a rush of gratitude as he looked at him. 

“You did it in the end,” he shrugged, deciding to leave the bitching till Billy could actually stand up without help. “That’s what counts.” 

And that _was_ what counted. Yeah, it might’ve taken a while, but he was okay now, and they hadn’t taken him to a hospital. They hadn’t tried to move him further than he’d asked. They’d listened to his arguments and not tried to go against them. 

Even with the gaps left by Eli, Cassie, and Jonas, they were still a team. They were the only team he’d ever had, and they were pretty okay. 

“I think I need to sit down,” Billy whispered. Tommy jumped up and grinned. 

“Well, this spot right here is pretty comfy. Suited me fine while you were boosting your mojo.” 

Billy’s lips quirked as Teddy helped him lie down where Tommy had been, and Tommy bounced on the balls of his feet, glancing at the window. “Guys? I’m gonna do a perimeter check.” 

“Go,” Kate waved a hand, and Tommy was _gone_. 

So okay, an actual check of the lair’s perimeter would’ve taken a second, two at most, but Tommy needed a little more than that, so he extended the perimeter to Manhattan. As his legs pumped underneath him, he exhaled and grinned, squinting against the roaring air around him. Should’ve picked up his goggles, but he didn’t mind so much. Running like this, it was like flying. No one could touch him like this, moving at the speed he was made for. 

What people didn’t seem to get was that he could still see and understand everything around him when he ran. Just like his body was able to move at super-speed, so could his mind. When he ran, it felt like he was moving at a normal pace and everyone else was moving in slow motion. Occasionally frustrating, but mostly just incredibly cool. Not to mention useful for things like running away from awkward and/or potentially painful situations. 

He extended the perimeter to North America and ran harder. Sometimes, it was nice to just remind himself that if he wanted to, he could be out of the spotlight and in Canada in about five seconds flat. It was nice to have a constant back door. 

Of course, it was just as nice having something to come back to when he was done running. He zipped past the outskirts of Hollywood and headed back east, grinning the whole way. 

“Either that was some perimeter,” Kate said sardonically when he skidded to a stop in front of her, “or you’re running a lot slower than usual.” 

He shrugged. “Thought I’d see how the West Coast is doing. It’s nice and sunny over there, by the way.” 

“Show-off,” Billy smirked from his position on the couch. He was looking slightly better already. Still pale, but not at death’s door. 

Tommy just grinned. “I’m starving. We got anything in the kitchen?” 

“We’ve got some frozen pizzas, I think,” Teddy stood up. “I’m hungry too.” 

“Sweet,” Tommy dashed into the kitchen and started rummaging in the freezer. Teddy came up behind him, walking about four seconds behind. 

“Feeling better then?” 

“ _So_ much better,” Tommy pulled a couple of boxes out and handed them to him, “you have no idea, man.” 

“You weren’t looking too great.” 

“Well I wasn’t exactly feeling too swell either,” Tommy rolled his eyes and turned to put the oven on, waiting for Teddy to ask questions. He could tell when Teddy was building himself up to ask a question now – they’d spent enough time together while Billy was in his depressed funk to be able to pick up each other’s behavioural cues. 

“So…no hospitals, huh?” 

Fucking Altman. 

Tommy didn’t do sharing. He didn’t do feelings, he didn’t hold hands, and he certainly didn’t do group therapy. He’d expected all of that crap after joining the team straight out of juvie, and he’d decided when he accepted the uniform Kate offered him that the moment any of them tried to get him to ‘open up’ about his ‘troubled past’ he would leave them in the dust. He didn’t want or need any of that trash. 

But they hadn’t tried to open him up. They hadn’t asked questions. In fact, it had been practically the other way around – they’d had trouble including him. He and Jonas – then Vision – had joined the team at the same time, but because Jonas apparently looked and sounded a lot like the guy who’d brought them all together in the first place, he was accepted relatively easily. Tommy had had to work at it a little harder, and along the way, none of them tried to get into his head. Even more surprisingly, none of them asked any questions about his past – not about juvie, or his non-existent parents. They’d just accepted the fact that he lived at the lair with Teddy, and that was that. 

The rest of the team – his _friends_ , he’d accepted that much at least – had never pushed him for answers he didn’t want to give. And after a lifetime of prodding and a stint in an institution that had been nothing but endless pushing, shoving, and testing, it was a huge relief. A little confusing for a while, but mostly a relief. They’d given him space to breathe. 

Maybe as little as a few months ago, Teddy’s question would’ve sent Tommy running, but now…now he just set the temperature on the oven and straightened up. “They remind me of juvie,” he said without looking around. “I can deal if I have the option of leaving, but I couldn’t move more than three inches on my own back there, and I really don’t like hospitals.” 

“You were right anyway,” Teddy said casually, taking the pizzas out of their boxes. “We wouldn’t’ve been able to move you all the way to a hospital. You barely made it to the couch.” 

“To be fair, I’m pretty sure I did have a bullet lodged in my ribcage,” Tommy pointed out, turning around with a smirk. “You take a shot to the chest and see how great you feel.” 

“I’m bulletproof,” Teddy grinned, and Tommy rolled his eyes. 

“Freak.” 

“Ass.”

Teams weren’t so bad. Sat on the couch together, watching awful game shows and eating pizza, it felt good. Even if there were only four of them now, at least they were back together again. Tommy gave his mushrooms to Kate and stole the pepperoni from Billy and grinned when they laughed at his sarcastic comments. Truth be told, these days he wouldn’t mind so much if they asked a few questions. He could handle it now. He still needed a constant exit, but the difference was that he knew these guys would cover his back if he needed to run for it. He could rely on them. He could trust them. And as far as he was concerned, that was worth risking a little emotional baggage for.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please consider [buying me a coffee!](https://ko-fi.com/A221HQ9) <3


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